Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The R- word..

I need advice my blog reading friends...

I had a facebook "friend" who posted on their wall today about how ridiculous and un-knowledgeable Realtors are in the Phoenix area, his way to mock these Realtors was by stating he was starting a real estate brokerage and naming it RE/RE Ratard Realty so all the Ratarded Realtors would come and join. He would pay 110% commission because they were all so ratarded they wouldn't know it wasn't possible to pay 110% and life would be grand for his ratarded brokerage (the use of the word retard was spelled Ratard by him in some sort of homage to The Hangover)

If you saw this, would it upset you? It upset me... I wanted to let it go, I wanted to just move on with my day and not call him out on his repeated use of the word retard, but then, people were joining in, commenting on how funny his post was and he kept commenting back, each time using the word retard to describe not so smart real estate agents and how they would all join his "retard" brokerage because they were so slow.

I couldn't take it anymore.  I was imagining his kids one day thinking it was OK to use that word (I mean, if they hear it at home, why not use it at school) and Ella overhearing them and crying because it hurt her feelings. I was going to write on his "wall" but I didn't want to make a huge deal of it so I messaged him this:

Hey Bxxxx,

The attached picture is of my 1 year old daughter. When she grows up, many people will think it's funny to call her a retard (or what ever pronunciation some movie made up) because she is a little slower than they are. She will deal with kids and adults using that word to describe people just like her and it will break my heart and hers when it happens. When you think it's funny to post about Realtors and their lack of smarts and chalk it up to them being "ratards" guess what... You are no better than the people that will one day make my daughter cry for their ignorance and casual use of a nasty, hateful word. Next time you think it is super funny to make fun of people by calling them retards, think of Ella and her friends and find a new word...

Thanks - Liz Morganroth

What I really wanted to say was this:

Hey jackass, NEVER EVER use that word again. It isn't cool. Got it? Good.

The response I got back:

Liz, In no way shape or form I was making fun of handicapped, autism or mentally disabled people. People who really know me absolutely know I would never intentionally make fun or use words of hate. I help people and lift them up not tear them apart. I will also have you know, I grew up with and protected more than one handicapped person/(person w/autism) in my life. I have donated thousands of dollars to Autism, Susan G, Obesity and more. Just as I did not know about your daughter, you do not know my family, my experiences, the charitable organizations I support and or friends with brothers, sister or children that have Autism. I`m sorry my post offended you and sincerely apologize to you. I would protect my family and my strong beliefs too but look at the intentions of the other person first. I was expressing how unprofessional people can be in this industry. People do not educate themselves, place effort into their career and the make accusations without facts. by the way very cute picture. she looks beautiful.
Oh, then he unfriended me (and my business partner, just for good measure).
So... I wanted to write him back, I wanted to tell him that I don't care who you donate to, how many autistic people you know or how you try to lift people up. Using the word Retard in any form is wrong. JUST WRONG. Don't justify it, don't tell me you support breast cancer research, tell me you were wrong, you had a temporary lack of good judgement and you won't do it again.  Tell me that if my kids run into your kids at school, they won't hear the word retard out of their mouth. Tell me anything that shows me that you get why even using the word in jest is just not ok...
Nope, I got that email and an unfriending.. Now, do I assume I was unfriended so he could talk poop about me and my language policing skills or was I unfriended so he can continue to use the R-word freely? I dunno and I don't really care, but what I do wonder is if I did the right thing? Should I have let it go? Should I have messaged him? Did I get through to him that it isn't OK to use the words no matter what? 
What would you have done? 
PS: Ella had her first birthday today. I had a whole sad post written about finding out she had Down syndrome, expectations being reset, etc, but I erased it. Today was an amazing, happy day. I allowed myself a good cry at the exact moment we found out a year ago she had Down syndrome, but after that cry, I moved on. Ella's birthday was just like any other first birthday. Gifts, food, cake, family. Sadness still likes to overtake my heart at times, but today we celebrated the amazing first year of an amazing little girl. So, no sad posts, no melancholy mood, just me, my glass of wine and apparently a new goal to eradicate the use of the R-word within the real estate community.
I leave you with my birthday girl. My amazing birthday girl.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Already February...

It is already well into February.  I think of February as the last month I have to pull myself together before spring and shorts and bathing suits and such. I tend to always say - February is the month I will make sure I stick to my workout plan, eat well, self tan and be one hot Momma by March - but then, it gets to be February 8th, Superbowl just passed, I ate one to many cupcakes, there was a sale at Costco on wine and well, I start thinking that March is for getting in shape, I mean, who wears bathing suits in Arizona till April, right?

So, as I sit here with my wine and cupcake, I try to think back to all that has happened in the few weeks..

If I remember correctly, I turned 31.  Not as bad as turning 30 on bedrest but not as good as turning 24 in Vegas.  I made it through a tough year 30 and feel that I can pretty much conquer anything after last year. Having Ella by my side at a great dinner with family made turning 31 much better.  She even let me feed her a few bites of frosting and kept her bow on all dinner.

Ignore my red face, darn wine...

I also spent a lot of January chasing around an army crawling baby who feels that it is totally normal to leave her leg like this:

Umm, yeah, see her leg right there by her hand.  Not good. I know she is super flexible, but still! I say the words "Ella, fix your legs" more than I say anything else.

And then we go from forgetting to "fix your leg" to looking like a teenager:

The Vans were totally unnecessary, but when I saw them in Coronado, I knew her favorite person in the world, Roxie, would love them and I couldn't say no.

Roxie also loves flowers and bows and let me tell you, I need Roxie around to make sure Ella has outfits like this:

Having 2 boys before Ella Bella means I am not so good at the "girly" stuff, but Roxie (supernanny) is very good at making sure Ella is the best dressed baby in Gilbert.  I rush in the door at night just to see what outfit she will have her in.  I LOVE it!

I also got to annoy Ella to no ends to try to get a picture to send to her Grandpa in California. I begged her for a smile, but all I got was:

This would be Ella's "leave me alone NOW" face.

The best part of the last 3 weeks that I haven't been blogging....

Ella put weight on her legs and is able to stand (supported by us or the couch or the amazing Tess) for a short period of time.  In fact, in the last few weeks, each night Ella and I have a dance session where she stands and we "dance" to the radio and sing together. It pretty much takes the fact that it is well into February and I haven't yet started my working out and tells it to stick it.  I can be skinny any month, I only have now to enjoy dancing Ella Bella.

So, that has been my past 3 weeks. I have also worked my butt off, been sick, decided I am so fed up with our local DS "network" that I am going to revolt and start my own, went to an assembly where Reed got an award and managed to not get one good picture and get my hair done finally (you know it's bad when the 4 year old notices the gray).

I am moving on to a new project. Ella's party.  I wanted pony's and unicorns and giant sand castles. She is getting pretty darn close to it.  We are having a Farm party for Ella. Petting Zoo, crafts, games, if it's on a farm, we have it going on.  I have never taken on a party quite so daunting and to think we are less than 2 weeks away and I have a crap ton to still do is pretty darn awesome (but true to my procrastinating self). I pray that the boys don't ask to see pictures of their awesome 1st birthdays. I can assure you there were no baby bunnys or pigs, just mom, dad and some cake and while they were nice, I am not sure you can beat the Alpaca exhibit Ella is having...

Off to see if I can locate a tractor for an authentic tractor ride station...